Ragnar Relay and The Power of Motivation

With the NJ Marathon behind me and the sluggishness and post race letdown setting in, I was happy to be participating in the Ragnar Relay this week – a 12 person and 182 mile journey from Woodstock to Westchester. It would be a good distraction for me and help me get some fun back into my running. This was my second overnight relay, after Reach the Beach, and my fifth relay overall (two Need for Speeds and one Ocean to Sound). The multi leg relay is a much different experience than the shorter races. This is what it must feel like to be on The Amazing Race. You are racing to get from leg to leg, hoping that the maps will take you where you need to go. The thrill and nervousness of running at night, being alone with the night sounds and praying that you don’t make a wrong turn (I wasn’t so lucky this time around). You get to feel the diminished amount of energy you have with each impending leg and getting by only a few minutes of sleep. The satisfaction of crossing the finish line with your teammates after a 24 hour journey. It was a great experience and a lot of fun to get close to your teammates and cheer and support each other throughout the weekend. While all of us wanted to do well, it is more about the experience and having fun, rather than running a specific time (however it was pretty cool that we placed third in our division – woo hoo!).

I think it was just what I needed to get out of my mini, post marathon funk. I was a little worried going into the weekend. I was starting to feel sluggish and my runs weren’t feeling too great. After having to walk during a marathon, there is always the wonder of whether or not I’d have the motivation or ability to finish another marathon or even another race. You need something to prove to you otherwise. It is a bit intimidating running a relay with people that are so much faster than me. My best times don’t even come close to most of the runners on the team. I wanted to be able to hold my own and come up with the best times that I could and help the team out. I figured that I could put in a good leg in the beginning, but how would I feel by the time my third leg comes along? Would I be able to push myself with little sleep and the heat of the early afternoon beating down on me?

It is amazing what you are able to get out of your body when you have the proper motivation pushing you. During a relay like this, I try to put my own feelings aside and remind myself that I am part of a team that is counting on me. Anytime I felt like I was tiring and wanted to slow down, I kept pushing myself and keeping in mind that there are only a few miles left and I can rest for 5 or 6 more hours once I am done. When you are reminded that you are running for others and not just for yourself, you find that you can dig deeper than you imagined.

My first leg was 6.1 miles and was considered “very hard.” Based on my last week or so, I was hoping to go around an 8:00 or 8:15 pace. There were a bunch of hills in the beginning of the leg and then it flattened out during the second half. I was excited to have my Garmin this time around so I can be aware of my pace and know how much longer the leg was going to be. I went out pretty fast – probably too fast. I was trying to race up the hills knowing that I could coast a little more once the flat roads came up in a few miles. The sun was still out and it was pretty humid outside but I was able to keep going at a brisk pace. As usual, I try to split up any race into manageable parts. Get over the hills. Then get to the halfway point to see the cheering faces of my teammates. Get to the “one mile to go” sign. And then use whatever I have left to get to the handoff point. I was surprised at how fast I was going and that it looked like I was going to keep it up for the entire leg. Even though I was starting to tire, the pace on my Garmin was not going down at all. I couldn’t believe it, but I ran a 7:05 for the 6.1 mile leg. This would have been close to a 10K PR. I didn’t know that I had this in me – especially running by myself (I did not see or pass one person for the entire leg) and without music. This showed me that I have some speed in me and I just need the proper motivation to unleash some of it.

The middle third of the race is usually the toughest. You are usually excited for the first third and the adrenaline is flowing. You are pumped for the last third because you know that the finish line is getting closer and closer and you don’t need to conserve any more energy. The middle part usually takes the most effort to stay motivated. My second leg was completely in the dark. It is exciting and also a bit nerve racking. Running all by yourself in a strange place and the constant fear that you will make a wrong turn and not be able to find my way back onto the course. The leg was only 4.4 miles and it started off pretty good. I was going at a sub 7:40 pace for the first mile and a half, expecting a right turn to be coming up pretty soon. There was a sign up ahead that said turn right, but it was pointed almost straight ahead on the road that I was on (veering right) and I wasn’t sure what to do. I ended up following the sign and then would realize after a mile on the road with no vans and no runners passing me that I took a wrong turn. I could sense it and then I stopped a few times to look at my map. Although I realized that I veered off the course, it was a bit daunting to think that I had to retrace my steps and continue the rest of the leg, adding at least 1-1.5 miles. Besides being pissed off for myself, I felt bad for my teammates. They were supposed to cheer for me at the halfway point and I was afraid that they thought something bad had happened to me when I didn’t show up and I had no way of getting in touch with them. Feeling deflated, I turned around and started to run back when I caught a break. Realizing I was off course, one of the other team vans stopped beside me and offered to drive me back to the last directional sign where I was supposed to take a hard right. I gladly accepted their offer and appreciated all of their help. It was extremely nice of them to help me out. Once I was at the drop off point, I was mad at myself for what happened and decided to take that energy and apply it to the rest of the leg. I felt invigorated that I was back on course and I busted out the remaining part 2 miles or so of the leg. Fear is usually caused by the unknown. At least I know now that I can survive getting lost on a night leg in the middle of a strange place. I hope it doesn’t happen again.

By the time the third leg came along, I think we were all a bit drained. We had very little sleep. We were tired and hungry and we were now going to be running during the middle part of the day with hotter temperatures approaching. I needed to pump myself up if I was going to be able to finish my last leg. I was having a great time at the race but at the same time was excited to be doing my final leg. Once MT handed off the wristband, I knew that only 4.1 miles separated me and the end of my running day. Besides getting a good time split to redeem my previous leg, my other motivation driving me was to get some “road kills.” Everyone was talking about theirs, and I was jealous that I didn’t have any yet. It was time to get mine. Hey, whatever you need to motivate yourself, right? My first leg was a very fast one, but I didn’t see a single person the entire time. My second leg, obviously did not go exactly as planned and I did not pass anyone. On my third leg, I made it my mission to start passing some people. The sun was beating down on me at the start and I thought that the remaining miles were going to be tough. There were some smaller hills in the beginning which took some of my badly needed energy. My pace was fluctuating but I was still hovering at around an 8 minute pace. I still did not see anyone by the 2 mile mark, but I was happy to see the cheering faces of my teammates. It was all I needed to keep going. A couple minutes later, I finally saw some other people along the course. This was my chance to pounce (in a nice way). I speed up a little bit and passed two people in a row, and I think their energy transferred into my body. I began to feel a little stronger and told myself that no matter how tired and strained I was feeling, don’t slow down. It will all be over in a few miles. I passed four more people along the highway (for a total of six - yeah!), before crossing into the trail area of the leg. It provided a little bit of shade and it was nice to be surrounded by some nature. At this point, I was constantly checking my Garmin to see how much longer I had to go. I was definitely feeling the strain of the past day and a half at this point, but I knew that I only had to hang on until the “one mile to go” and then I was home free. That sign was a glorious site. Once I saw it, my arms started pumping harder, my legs started moving faster, and I can almost taste the end of my running day. Voices started to get louder and I knew that the exchange was coming closer and closer. I saw DC in front of me and handing off the baton. My day was over. My Garmin had me at a 7:26 pace for 4.95 miles. The leg was only supposed to be 4.5 – don’t exactly know what happened here. Even if my time is converted to 4.5 miles, I was still able to run at an 8:10. Not bad for me for my third leg.

It’s all about proper motivation. If you have it, you can accomplish almost anything.

Thanks to all of my teammates on Kidz Who Whiz for such a great time this weekend. It was a great experience and awesome to run into all kinds of great people along the race. When is the next one?

Back on the Horse...

It was nice spending the week after the marathon not running, and eating whatever I wanted. My body was feeling great with no soreness or aches and I didn’t really feel any ill effects from the race. Things seemed to feel almost too good. I was ready to get to start running again and was even entertaining the thought of doing a second marathon this year (getting some revenge on NJ), which I have never attempted before. Usually, I feel sluggish and down for several weeks after a marathon and another one never enters my mind. I went for my first running with friend JT last Sunday on a leisurely 5 mile run in Central Park. I was just looking to get my body back in the swing of things and moving again. It was nice to get outside and I felt OK. Then I went for a run with the downtown group on Monday night. The weather was beautiful and there were cool breezes along the water. However, during the run my legs felt pretty sluggish and I could not muster faster than a 9-9:15 pace. I was glad that this happened. It brought me down to earth and reminded me very quickly that I have to respect the recovery process after a marathon. Although I was feeling good a week later, I need to know that my body went through a lot of stress and wear and tear leading up to and including the marathon and that I can’t expect to just jump back into my usual routine at the pace I was running a few weeks ago and that I should eventually expect to feel some side effects of a marathon. The plan is to build my body back up by bringing back my twice a week cross training activities of strength training and spinning, which I stopped doing during the last month and a half to two months of training, and cut my running down to three times a week including a run of 10 miles. This was my pre marathon schedule and it has worked pretty well for me over the past two years. I plan to keep that schedule up until the end of June and then decide whether or not or will attack another marathon this year. I’ll see what I feel like after the sting of NJ has worn off and if I want to put my body and mind through another training cycle this year. Physically I am probably able to run another one, but whether or not I want to commit time and effort to training again only a few months after my last marathon is another story. If I do one at the end of the year, I wouldn’t have to start training until the last week of June/first week of July anyway.

The rest of the week will be filled with the Ragnar Relay. I’ll be running 15 miles in a 24 hour period which will be the most I have run in the past 2 weeks. It should be a good time. Let’s go Kids Who Wiz.

A Few Days to Reflect Post Marathon

Actually I feel a lot better than I thought I would, both physically and mentally.

I haven't gone on a run since the marathon (I have been walking a lot), but my body feels in very good shape. Ironically, what hurts the most is the sunburn on both of my shoulders. I hardly ever wear a tank top when running and therefore have pretty fair skin on that part of my body. I was stupid and didn't put on suntan lotion and got burned pretty bad. It is my own fault, and I just need to be patient and let it heal. Otherwise, my legs aren't sore, my feet feel good, and I am ready to going running again whenever I want. I would like to think that this is due to a smart training schedule and weekly strength exercises. I gave myself the week off so as not to pressure myself to get back too quickly. I will probably go for a light run on Friday or during the weekend.

Mentally, I thought I would be more upset with the outcome of this marathon than I am. I figured it would bother me for a while that I put in a great training cycle, but wasn't really given the opportunity to go after a time that I believe I am capable of. That somehow the last few months were wasted. However, I am pretty OK with everything and ready to move on. There was nothing more I could have done to change the outcome of the race, so why obsess about it? I trained properly and had a solid strategy but due to something out of my control, it wasn't meant to be this time. I will have other chances. Running is supposed to be fun for all of us and it is not always about time. I will take the next few weeks to enjoy my runs and then figure out what my next race or goal will be. Given the fact that I only do one marathon a year/every couple of years, I accept the fact that I am putting alot of eggs in one basket each time I sign up for a race. You can't have perfect weather every time, you can't have perfect conditions every time. I was fortunate to have great running weather during my first two marathons, but I wasn't so lucky for my last two and had to run in weather extremes: 25 degrees at the start of Philadelphia in 2008 and temperatures in the 80s/90s in NJ this year. Hopefully I am due for more favorable conditions next time.

Next up...the Ragnar Relay. Woo hoo!

Brutal Conditions Not Meant For Running - NJ Marathon

My fourth marathon is now complete - unfortunately it was not meant to be yesterday. Official time - 4:01:36...Splits: 5 Miles: 42:07 (8:25 pace); Half Marathon: 1:50:33 (8:26 pace); 15 Miles: 2:06:58 (8:28 pace)...1st Half/2nd Half (1:50/2:11).

Although the training went very well and I felt extremely prepared going into this one, there are certain things that you just can't control and both of them failed me yesterday - the weather (the main culprit) and the pacing. This was the hardest race that I have ever run (on par with my 2007 NYC Half, but twice as long) and it took all of the mental strength that I had to complete it. While I wanted to quit many times during the course of the day, I am proud of myself for finishing it while feeling relatively good both after the race and the day after - a testament to my training. The weather was absolutely brutal with the heat index reaching the high 80s/low 90s during the latter parts of the race. People were dropping out. People were walking. It was not a pretty scene at all. A day later, I feel fine physically (other than some pretty bad sunburn) - my legs feel good besides some expected soreness and mentally my head feels pretty clear. What frustrated me the most was that my training went so well over the past several months and now because of something out of my control(the weather) it now seems "wasted". I know that the training I put into this race will help me in the future and gave me a good snapshot into how far I've come and what I am capable of, and that the experience will make me stronger for future races, but it sucks to have to do it all over again and then hope for good things on race day. While some of my friends are capable of signing up for another marathon in a few weeks to try and get revenge on the race, I can't do that just yet. It will take a little while to decompress and get the memory of this race out of my mind - but another marathon will happen eventually. I don't want to rush into another one right away although physically I am probably capable of doing so.

All of us were checking the weather days before the race, probably several times a day. As much as we tried, wishing alone can't bring favorable weather. You can factor in the wind, the proximity to the water, the overcast skies, etc. - however, deep down we all knew it was going to be a hot day. Nothing can really prepare you to run in temps that were as high as yesterday (as AG reminded me just before we ventured out to the starting line).

At the start of the race, the temperatures did not seem like they were going to be horrible - how wrong we all were. It was quite cool along the ocean which gave us a false sense of hope going into the race. Other than the mile or two of the race that ran along the water, the rest of the course was on the neighborhood streets and offered very little cover or shade. It was just you and the blacktop.

Sometimes you can tell early on that it is going to be your day and other days you realize that things are not going to turn out well. I purposely joined a pace group to keep me steady throughout the race and give me the opportunity to have a group of people to run with to help me along in the later miles. While my pace leader last year in the NJ Half was on pace from the very start of the race, the one from this year never really got in a groove and it derailed me from the very beginning. While I obviously don't blame the guy for veering off pace later in the race and slowing down (no one should have to carry the pacing responsibility on a day like yesterday), his pace was all over the place when I needed it most in the beginning stages. I lined up with the 3:40 pace group as planned, which is approximately an 8:23 pace. The first mile was extremely crowded as expected and we ran it in 9:07. No problem with that as long as we slowly move back down to the 8:23 pace over the next couple of miles. However, the leader sped up in mile 2 down to around 8:05 and stayed that way for the next three miles. This was too fast for me this early in the race. I could feel the temperature starting to get hotter and I knew that I had to reel myself in. For my own sanity, I decided to back away from the "pace" group after mile 4. I realized that the group was already hurting rather than helping me at this point and I had to do something. Using my Garmin as a guide, I started to slowly increase my pace to around 8:15-8:25. Just in case the group normalized its pace in the future, I kept the "3:40" flag in my sites and hopefully I would rejoin them in a few miles after going at my own pace. So far the plan was working. Miles 5-10 slowed down a bit right at around the pace that I wanted. At this point I was going at a steady pace and was feeling pretty good. At about mile 9 or 10 I caught up to my original pace group but quickly realized that the leader was now overcompensating his quicker pace from the start of the race. The group was now running at around an 8:45 pace and did not seem to be getting any faster. It was sad to realize at this point that my entire strategy based on the comfort of the pace group completely went out the window. I concluded that the group was no longer helping me and I decided to leave it at about mile 11 or 12. It was a tough decision and one that I knew would have consequences later on in the race. On my own, I was able to stay right on pace and crossed the halfway point at around 1:50 - my original goal at the start of the race to achieve a time of 3:40. However, once you cross the halfway point of this race, you lose all of the runners doing the half marathon. Now that I was no longer in the pace group, I knew inside that the rest of the race was going to be tough for me. I was starting to tire (more mentally than physically) - not a good feeling knowing that I still had another 13 miles to go. I did not have a group to shoulder the physical and mental load and I would have to run the rest of the race by myself just as the temperatures were getting hotter and hotter. This was probably not going to end well.

When the burden is completely on you to convince yourself to push through a race that has 13 miles to go, it is not easy. I was still pretty much on pace through mile or 15 or 16 (around 2:07 through 15 miles), however the race was quickly getting tougher and tougher. The streets were getting more and more empty and the mercury continued to rise. I started to think to myself, how am I possibly going to get through the rest of this race? In conditions like these, the more opportunities there are to overthink things, the worse off things will probably get. I usually make it a rule not to walk during a race. Slow down or shuffle as much as you need to, but don't stop those feet. It is nearly impossible, for me at least, to get going again once I walked for the first time. Yesterday was no different. I found myself starting to tire considerably and I was trying to slow my pace down to one that was comfortable and one that I could continue at for several miles. However, as the sun was beating down more and more (there was no escaping it), it was getting harder and harder to fight the urge to walk. I didn't want to do it because I knew that that would signify the theoretical end to my race. As hard as it was to do, I gave myself "permission" to start walking at probably around mile 16 or 17 (I forget at this point). In my mind, I knew what that meant. Once you give yourself the option to walk, it is hard not to take that option throughout the rest of the race whenever you feel a rough patch coming. At first I walked for about 30 seconds at a time, then it was about a minute at a time. Once I started shuffling my feet, I was able to run about a half mile to a mile at a time. The original plan was to continue running until I saw the next mile marker. However, if an aid station came up before that, I decided to walk through the station and slowly drink my water and Gatorade. At this point it seemed like I was drinking water and Gatorade by the gallon. The volunteers were nice enough to be handing out cups of ice as the race went on. It took all of the mental strength I had to restart my run each time that I walked. I was very proud of myself for being able to make the call to walk. You get competitive in a race setting and think back to all of the training that you put in and none of us want to give that up unless it is absolutely necessary. CK was still contemplating running the marathon yesterday after being hurt and not being able to run for the past 2 weeks. Lam got the flu last week and was still clinging to hope that he could run the race (he eventually got himself to run the half). It takes an enormous amount of strength to tell yourself that it is just not your day and to adjust your expectations - your goals that you were hoping for and worked hard for will have to wait for another day. Non-runners don't realize how difficult it is for us to do this. It was a call that I didn't want to make, but I was happy that I did.

It amazing how quickly race goals can change in a matter of a few miles. I went from trying to break 3:40, to trying for a PR (sub 3:48), to trying to get under 4 hours, to not caring at all about my time but just looking to finish the race in one piece without too many problems. If there was an easy way to get back to the start of the race, I seriously considered quitting the race. The temperatures were way too high and it was not worth it to risk getting sick or hurt to finish the race. When you are hurting at around mile 16 or 17, having 9 or 10 miles to go seems like a daunting if not insurmountable task ahead of you. And with no group or fellow runner supporting you, it might seem impossible. I had to break down the rest of the race one mile at a time, one water station at a time. Any longer distance would be too much to process for me and would bring me closer to stopping for good. Once I eventually reached mile 20 or 21, stopping was not an option for me. Although it was not in the cards today for a good race, I trained too hard and too long for this race to not cross that finish line. There was no way I was going to DNF. I knew that if I can make it to the stretch along the water than I was going to finish. The cool temperatures and the prospect of ending the race would carry me as far as I needed to go. After putting in miles ranging from 9:15-11:40 for the past 7 or 8 miles, I was able to muster a mile time in the 8:30 range for the final 1.2 miles. It was a great feeling to cross that finish line. I earned it.

It is incredible to think how I was able to push myself to finish the race, especially since it seemed like a remote possibility an hour and a half before. While this was my slowest marathon time so far, I worked the hardest for this one and I am most proud of how I persevered and pushed myself. It was not easy but it made stronger for future races. If I could get through this race, I could probably get through any one of them in the future.

The support along the course was great. The volunteers were cheering loudly for all of the runners throughout the day, especially later on in the race when we needed the support the most. The aid station never ran out of water or Gatorade and there were sprinklers all along the course (from gracious spectators) that cooled us off and were a welcome surprise. In addition, it was awesome to have several friends out on the course who made the trip, in this unbearable heat, to cheer us all on. It was such a mental boost to see a familiar face on the course when my mental strength was at its lowest. Thanks so much to CK and DC - you guys were great and thanks to the Flyers who lined the course as well. It was a great surprise to see you out there. LL and JB - thanks for cheering me on going into the last mile of the race.

Lesson #1 - pick a marathon that does not have temperatures that are in the 80s and 90s:) My training went very well going into this race and I had high expectations for myself. However, I learned that I could make a difficult decision when I need to and I realized that I have the strength to do it as tough as it may be. Although this race turned out similar to my 2007 NYC Half Marathon (heat, walking on the course, etc.), it was not due to anything in my control - eating, nutrition, sleep, pacing, or training. It was just a case of bad luck due to the weather. Even though I was walking throughout the race, at no time did I feel too bad physically. My legs felt pretty good. I didn't feel like I was going to pass out. I wasn't having a hard time catching my breath. The troubles were primarily mental. The heat and solitude on the course can get to you pretty quickly and once the decision was made to walk, there is really no going back after that. During the NYC Half, I felt horrible not only during the race but for weeks afterwards. That race was the trigger for me to get serious about training, eating, and pacing. This race was not like that one at all. I had a good strategy going into the New Jersey Marathon but I was not able to execute it due to bad weather. My next marathon is going to be one that has a great chance for cooler weather, has reliable and proven pace leaders, and during a time of the year that has more organized long runs. After a race like this that was such a struggle, you wonder if you will be able to rebound. As horrible as I felt after the 2007 race (I had no desire to run for at least a month and never thought the feeling would go away), a great and consistent race at the Queens Half only a month and a half later got me back on track and gave me the confidence that I would be OK. While I will need to get the memory of this race out of my mind in order to be able to do another marathon in the future, I need to hold onto to the experience of it to remind me of the strength it took to complete and how far I am capable of digging within myself to accomplish something that I really want. All I need now is to take it easy and have fun at the Ragnar Relay coming up on May 14-15. It may just be what I need to take my mind off of this race and jumpstart the next phase of my running. All it takes is one good race to get you going again.

It's Go Time...

It looks like the weather is going to be in the 70s and possibly the 80s for the race tomorrow, which is obviously a lot hotter than I was hoping for. However, there is nothing I can do about it now except properly prepare for a hot weather race. I have been trying to get sufficient sleep the past couple of days and I have been hydrating as much as possible, as well as slightly increasing my salt intake. Yesterday, I even went for a 5 mile run in the middle of the day to try to get a glimpse of what it might feel like running in the heat on Sunday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (temps were in the high 70s), however there was a lot of shade to run through in the park and the humidity was relatively low. I kept the pace consistent and felt pretty good with little strain. There is not much more I can do at this point. The work and training has been put in and now I'll see what I am made up. While these are not ideal conditions, they very rarely are.

Advice to myself for tomorrow: stay calm, stay steady, stay consistent and stay hydrated. This will keep my mind clear, my body in sync and prevent any waste of energy. I am going to need all of it in the later miles...Let's hope for a good race!